Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I GET IT! You want to kiss me thousands and thousands of times. Are a couple kisses not enough to satisfy you? You are completely OBSESSED!!! The more you desire me, the less I am attracted to you : "Quam magnus numerus Libyssae harenae lasarpiciferis iacet Cyrenis oraclum Iouis inter aestuosi et Batti veteris sacrum sepulcrum; aut quam sidera multa, cum tacet nox." If you wanted to kiss me as many times as there are Libyan sand grains that lie at the silphium bearing Cyrene or as many stars as there are in the sky when the night is silent, YOU ARE GOING TOO FAR! "Vesano satis et super Catullo est, quae nec pernumerare curiosi possint nec mala fascinare lingua." You are right, the amount of kisses you wish to bestow on me is definitely more than enough. In that poem which you left for me on my doorstep when I clearly told you that I never wanted to see you again, you said one thing that is correct. That one thing is that you are MAD!
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Catullus:
ReplyDeleteOh, my beautiful Lesbia, you simply do not understand the nature if my poems. Not only do I want to kiss you thousands upon thousands of times, but I want to love you forever and ever. You are so bright, yet why are you being naive my Lesbia? Simply put, I LOVE YOU. No matter how odd you think my proclamations of live are, remember that I am doing this solely out of love towards you.
"Vivamus mea Lesbia, atque amemus, rumoresque senum severiorum omnes unius aestimemus assis! Let us live together and let us live, and let us value the rumors of severe old men at only a penny. Who cares what others think. The only person that matters is you Lesbia, ONLY you.
Oh creepy Catullus, unfortunately I know that you love me so much that you cannot live your life without me by your side. If you even want a chance to be my boyfriend, I will give you four words of advice that might help your cause. GIVE ME SOME SPACE!!!!! Instead of loving me twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, try getting a hobby because you obviously have far too much free time on your hands ever since my sparrow died. "Lugete, o Veneres Cupidinesque, et quantum est hominum venustiorum: passer mortuus est meae puellae. Mourn O Venuses and Cupids and however many there are of charming people, my girl's sparrow is dead. Look, I still love that sparrow, but an adult knows how to deal with pain and rejection. You certainly do not act like an adult when you proclaim your love at all hours of the night or when you follow me to work. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
ReplyDeleteCatullus:
ReplyDeleteFor ordinary people there are usually only a couple of ways to say the three words that a woman wants to hear, "I love you". I have said it in many different ways, yet I still do not have you by your side. How is this possible. "Miser Catulle, dēsinās ineptīre, et quod vidēs perīsse perditum dūcās. Fulsēre quondam candidī tibī sōlēs, cum ventitābās quō puella ducēbat amāta nōbīs quantum amābitur nūlla." Wretched Catullus, stop playing the fool, and that which you see to have perished, consider it gone. Blazing suns once shone for you when you would come wither she was leading, a girl beloved by us as much as no girl will be loved. I realize that if I must be a fool for you, then so be it. My love for you Lesbia, has not perished, nor will it ever.